I am a 20 year old female living in Australia. Now, I know that just by reading that sentence, you’ve already formed your own idea of where I’m going with this. But I assure you that you are dead wrong.
I am not here to complain about the increasingly excessive amount of violence creeping into every movie. I understand that action scenes enhance a cinematic experience, and are quite visually stimulating. I’m not here to rant about your negative and unrealistic depiction of body image. You are criticised for that on a daily basis and nothing has changed, so why would I waste my time? I’m not even here to condemn your frequent use of female nudity. If a few bouncing tits offended me, I’d have cut mine off years ago.
Instead, I write this letter to highlight the importance of an issue very, very close to my heart. One that, if rectified, will improve what I can only assume to be millions of lives worldwide. This issue has been denied any media or societal outrage, and, quite frankly, I’ve had enough.
I want to see more dicks in movies.
The female demographic has been ignored by the film industry for far too long. Why is it that I can rent dozens of movies featuring Angelina Jolie’s bare chest, but not one with a simple nut shot of Andrew Garfield? Why is female nudity often drawn out and accompanied by the sultry sounds of the saxophone, while the rare penis flash lasts for a split second as a comedy gag? You have over-catered to the sexual appetite of men at the expense of female movie lovers, and this injustice is totally unacceptable.
Women have eyes too, Hollywood. And I fear that if you fail to realise this, your profits will take a beating. Women will not continue to pay to watch something that they can see in their own bathroom mirror.
I urge you to take the first steps towards progression. Throw a couple of male shower scenes into each new script you write. Replace Megan Fox with James Franco. Lord knows there’s a market out there willing to watch him straddle a motorcycle. I dream of a future in which my children can enter the screening of a PG-13 film, confident that they will leave knowing whether or not the leading man is well hung. Don’t be mean; give us p33n.
It’s been roughly two years and I still haven’t seen any changes yet. Gosh.
So, this is a poem I wrote when I was in (I wanna say) year 3. My mum’s kept a photocopy of it all these years. Looking back, it almost definitely looks like I was writing about anal sex at eight years old.
when you’re listening to a fall out boy song for like the hundredth time and you finally realize what he’s saying
I still just babble my way through Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes.
P-p-painted doors in the highway,
Truck stop stalls,
- Cosmo Sex Tip #69: Blackface